What is it that makes us go crazy about someone? Love, you have for lots of people and lots of things. Lust, is in itself incomplete. The feeling in your stomach when we’re with that person, the spark in our eyes when we see each other, the music in our ears, the smell in the air, everything feels just right. In our crazy lives, we take a moment to look at each other, reach out and share a kiss. What compels us to do that when we can see each other all the time? What still makes us want to be together when we’ve been together for years? Is it love alone? Is love enough to keep two persons together? How about when you have to stay away from each other? Is love inversely proportional to distance?
When I think of all these questions, I go back to the first time I told her that I loved her. It was a bland moment, not like in the movies. They say that there’s magic in the air. I never felt it. I only had what I had within me. Was that magic? I don’t know. Did I think about it before? Yes, thousands of times. But how about the magic in the air? I can’t really say if there was anything in the air other than air itself. I felt this voice churning out of my belly. I spoke and kissed her. She looked at me, surprised, nervous, may be even a bit angry at me for coming on to her out of the blue. But I knew she felt it too. She looked at me with her crazy beautiful eyes and said she loved me too.
I can’t define what happened between us. We were classmates, then we were friends and then we were a couple. It just happened. And now that we’re away from each other, I don’t feel the forces diminishing. I feel the pull even stronger. I can still see her eyes on that first moment all these years later. I just have to close my eyes and I go back to all the good times we had together. It makes me dream of the times we will have again. It makes me feel like it’s not just love that brought us together. I wouldn’t say magic because I haven’t seen it, but it’s pretty close to that. Like the gravitational waves that still propagate in the universe from billions of years ago, there’s something that makes us move, something that has no name yet. It’s not love. Love is there but it’s more than that. It’s abstract not just in the sense of magnitude but also definition. I know that I have it though, for her. And it doesn’t matter how far we are, it moves her towards me, and me towards her. One day we’ll make it. I hope that day comes soon.